


The Bat Conspiracy

by theresnomeaning



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, HP: EWE, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 02:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3511970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theresnomeaning/pseuds/theresnomeaning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the same week Ron and Hermione find out that Snape has an Animagus form and that Harry's patronus changed. Ron takes a minute to understand what it means.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bat Conspiracy

Harry rolled to the side and lied there, staring at the other, a playful smile on his lips.

"Potter, what are you up to?"

"Why do I have to be up to something? And stop calling me Potter, it makes me feel like _I am_ doing something wrong."

"You are always up to something," Severus said. "This smile of yours can only indicate that something either preposterous or inadequate - perhaps both - is about to happen or has already happened."

"I think Ron and Hermione found out about us." Severus raised one eyebrow but did not reply. "Ron visited the shop and he - well, he looked really worried. You know that I'm still pants at potions, and that I sell the artifacts and stuff for Ginny and Draco... So it was so odd that he started to ask me about potions that have bat's parts as ingredient..."

"Weasley's skills in discretion do not cease to astound me."

Harry chuckled. "Ron has a lot to deal with - I think he didn't get over that Draco married Ginny yet... Funny thing because I've always thought that Ron and Hermione's personalities weren't fitting for each other..." Severus laughed darkly. "Yeah, you got it... I mean, Ginny married Draco Malfoy and you and I..."

"I refuse to listen to you comparing us to any couple that involves Weasley, Harry."

"Sorry. Anyway, I think we should just, you know, assume our relationship..."

Harry looked expectantly at Severus. He had always postponed that, but now things were really fine, and assuming a relationship with a much younger man - and Harry Potter at that - wouldn't put Severus' reputation at risk.

"Your idea is appropriate... When shall we break the news?"

_._

_It was Saturday's morning, Hermione smiled when Ron, who visited her every weekends, finally arrived. He looked a bit... Cheerful and scared, what was an odd mixture. She was finishing grading the Arithmancy essays - Ron couldn't even look at the things without getting stressed and saying 'Hermione, I've always known you're crazy, but this shit is just to much...'. He was in auror training and being very successful in it._

_"Hi, love," he said and leaned to give her a chaste kiss on the lips. He had a grin on his face that couldn't bode well. Normally he would wait until she finished the grading, but today he seemed especially anxious. "You're not going to believe what I just saw."_

_She raised one eyebrow. "Do tell me, Ron."_

_"All right... Do you remember when we used to say that Snape was an overgrown bat?"_

_Hermione rolled her eyes, suppressing the urge to tell Ron that it was_ Headmaster _Snape. "I've never called him anything like that."_

_"True," Ron said. "But Harry and I - and entire Hogwarts student body, including some Slytherins - used to, you remember?"_

_"Of course I do, Ron, now what does it have to do with what you want to tell me?"_

_The red head grinned wider. "When I apparated to the gates today I saw Snape walking there - doing what shit I don't know - I was there, really quiet, and he didn't notice me, I think... Then well, he transformed into a freaking bat, 'Mione, a bat!"_

_Hermione rolled her eyes. "Really, Ron, must you be so childish? A bat is a nice and useful animagus form..."_

_"I know!" Ron protested. "It's just that... Snape... A bat... It's so fitting."_

_._

_Ron entered the shop that belonged to Draco and Ginny Malfoy - he still grimaced at the thought of his little sister with the ferret - and Harry Potter. They looked about to close and Ron had decided to call them to have some drinks._

_"Oh, for fuck's sake," Harry said. "I can't believe your daughter is addicted to play with_ Patroni! _" and then Harry drew his wand. "You both are spoiling this child..._ Expecto Patronum! _"_

_A silvery bat - wait, bat? Flew from Harry's wand. The child, Marissa, giggled softly and clapped her tiny hands, looking really amused._

_Ron found that something seemed... Off, but he really didn't know what. They went to the Three Broomsticks and had a good night._

_The next time Ron saw Hermione he remembered to comment about the change in Harry's Patronus._

_"A bat?" Hermione asked, clearly bewildered._

_"Yes."_

_"Oh... Jesus fucking Christ!" she swore, what was something really rare._

_"What's happened?" Ron asked._

_"Harry's patronus is a bat!"_

_He looked at Hermione, clearly expecting an explanation. "What's the problem, Hermione? Last week I told you that Snape's animagus form is a bat and you didn't ev-" Ron stopped mid sentence, his eyes out of the orbits. "No." he said and shook his head._

_"Yes, it would appear so..."_

_"No," he denied again... "Tell me that you don't think that Harry and Snape..."_

_Hermione chuckled. "It's obvious, Ron... I can't believe I never noticed anything..."_

_Ron fell on the couch, his mind racing at the possibility that his best mate and... And_ Snape _had something... Like a relationship..._

_"I refuse to believe it, Mione... Harry must be seeing someone else - Terry Boot is a nice guy... What about Neville?"_

_Hermione spluttered. "Neville is dating Luna!"_

_"How do you know that?"_

_"I've heard the students commenting about how the Divination and Herbology teachers are... Close."_

_"A nice muggle guy," Ron suddenly said. "Harry must be seeing a muggle..."_

_"A muggle bat, you mean?"_

_"Oh God... Harry is really with... Snape. I can't believe it. I don't think I can... Look at Snape again... I will just... Imagine things."_

_Hermione laughed. "And think of me, Ron, during staff meetings at the headmaster's office imagining all sorts of deviant things he and Harry must do there!"_

_"Hermione! That's gross!" Ron shrieked. "Dumbledore's portrait is there, for Merlin's sake..." They were both silent for some seconds. "Do you really think that they... You know?"_

_"It does look like something Harry would do..."_

_Ron shook his head, feeling sorry for all the portraits in the headmaster's office._

_._

"Your friends indeed found out about us," Severus said.

"How do you know that?"

"During dinner Weasley was thinking about you and me fucking in my office, under Albus' watch."

Harry chocked on the wine he was drinking. "For fuck's sake... How can he think that?"

Severus shrugged. "Besides, Miss Granger-soon-to-be-Weasley didn't look me in the eyes not even once - I believe that she must be thinking the same as her boyfriend."

"How did they find out, I wonder?" Harry mused.

"I don't know... And I didn't dwell much on Weasley's mind to find out."

"You should stop legilimizing people during dinner, you know... Although..." Harry said with a grin "Ron gave me a good idea..."

"I will not fuck you in my office."

"Dumbledore always wanted us to get along, you know... Maybe it's time to show him that his wishes came true..."

Severus snorted and pulled Harry closer. "I think that such a display was hardly what Albus had in mind."

"Well," Harry said "I like to surprise people."


End file.
